One of the most popular games to play when analyzing the career of a troubled musical genius is to wonder whether they were brilliant despite being troubled, or brilliant because they were troubled. Would Kurt Cobain have had such a lasting effect without his struggles with depression? Would Nina Simone’s music have been so compelling without the backdrop of a turbulent relationship?
Among 19th-century composers, few suffered the internal torture of Tchaikovsky. Homosexuality in Russia was illegal, but the enforcement of the law varied depending on who you were, and who the current Tsar was. Given Tchaikovsky’s social stature, this might make it sound like he had a slight advantage, but it probably led to extreme uncertainty. Gay men were sometimes exiled from the country, sometimes stripped of their rights, or sometimes just watched under loose police surveillance. He probably went through his life not knowing if or when he was going to be persecuted. Not knowing if he would step on the wrong toes and wind up in jail. It’s hard to imagine the paranoia and self-doubt that this type of existence would have conjured up in Tchaikovsky’s heart and mind.
By the time he was 36, societal pressure to marry was clearly having an effect on Tchaikovsky. In a letter to his brother Modeste, who was also gay, he wrote:
I am now going through a very critical period of my life. I will go into more detail later, but for now I will simply tell you, I have decided to get married. It is unavoidable. I must do it, not just for myself but for you, Modeste, and all those I love. I think that for both of us our dispositions are the greatest and most insuperable obstacle to happiness, and we must fight our natures to the best of our ability…I will do my utmost to get married this year, and if I lack the necessary courage, I will at any rate abandon my habits forever. Surely you realize how painful it is for me to know that people pity and forgive me when in truth I am not guilty of anything. How appalling to think that those who love me are sometimes ashamed of me. In short, I seek marriage…to shut the mouths of assorted contemptible creatures whose opinions mean nothing to me, but who are in a position to cause distress to those near to me.
The marriage was, predictably, a failure. Tchaikovsky spent the remaining 17 years of his life hiding his true personality, meeting with lovers in secret, and creating some of the most melodic and moving music of all-time.
What makes this a beautiful song:
1. At 1:50, the first violin hangs indecisively onto a single note for almost ten full seconds before the piece moves into its second section.
2. During that second section, from 2:00 to 3:15, the plucked cello gives the impression that it’s trying to tip-toe through the piece without being noticed.
3. The entire quartet stops suddenly at 4:09 and 4:16, like they’re taking quick, anxious breaths.
Recommended listening activity:
Setting up two mirrors facing each other, so that you can watch yourself watching yourself watching yourself…