Remember how easy it was to make friends when you were a kid? From what I recall, the process usually went something like this:
Step one- approach random other kid on the playground.
Step two- congratulations. You are now friends.
But at some point as we age, that beautifully simple two-step process becomes much more complicated. Some toxic combination of insecurities, biases, negative experiences, and laziness prohibits us from making friends as easily as we used to.
Situation plays a role here, too. When you’re in school, surrounded by people the same age, who are sharing the same experience as you, there’s automatically a sense of camaraderie, and from there it’s just a quick sideways step into friendship. But once you’re out in the working world, surrounded by people who are either too busy raising a family, or too busy trying desperately to find someone to raise a family with…suddenly friendship doesn’t come so easily. Even worse, friendliness can be interpreted as suspicious, as if there’s an agenda behind it.
Well I’m going to try to avoid that trap. And I’m going to do it by tricking my brain. I’m going to tell my brain that I’m already friends with everyone at work. With the cashiers at the grocery store. With the bus driver. If they’re not in the mood for friendliness, that’s okay. But it sure beats coldness, aloofness, or other variations on negativity that make adult life less friendly.
And if I need to psych myself up for a day of friendliness, I’ll do it by listening to this song by Whim.
What makes this a beautiful song:
1. Friendly lyrics. “It’s only a matter of time before life begins/You talk to a stranger and suddenly you’re friends.”
2. Hushed back-up vocals. Like someone singing over her shoulder in the chorus.
3. Understated percussion. The kick drum and tambourine combo has a way of making you want to tap your toe just loudly enough so that only the person sitting next to you notices.
Recommended listening activity:
Buying stationery at a back-to-school sale, even if you’re not going back to school.